Arbitrary Bits and Pieces About Joe

No, I'm not talking about Joe down the street, across town, the inn keeper or the latest guy to get arrested.

I'm talking about coffee.

There are so many names for it these days: Joe, java, black gold, morning mud, battery acid, bean juice, brew, and my favorite, wait for it, wakey juice. Love it!

It is believed that the craze started with goats. That's right, goats. Ethiopian shepherds noticed their goats were frisky after eating coffee berries. Mmm, berries. While there isn't a lot out there to support this theory, it's a good bedtime story, right? 

Back to fact...A coffee tree can grow up to 30', but this makes it difficult to collect the berries. Over the years, the trees have been cultivated to grow around 10'. Still a bit high for us short folks.

In 1675 King Charles II issued a proclamation closing coffee houses in England "because in such houses, and by the meeting of disaffected persons in them, divers false, malicious, and scandalous reports were devised and spread abroad, to the defamation of his majesty's government, and the disturbance of the quiet and the peace in the realm." Whoa! That's pretty serious. Fortunately the closings didn't last long. I bet there were some people out there with a bad case of the shakes during the closings!


Satori Kato, a Japanese scientist living in Chicago first invented instant coffee in 1901. George Washington, not our President, but rather a man from Belgium, living in Guatemala (Got all of that?), is credited with developing his own instant coffee and successfully commercially marketing it around 1910.

Coffee is the second most traded commodity, behind oil. You here that big oil? Stop pinching my wallet!

Latte art is the practice of making designs in the milk/foam topping (microfoam) of an espresso. There are different levels of snobbery concerning latte art. Purists insist the design must be created by the simple movements of the pouring vessel (free pouring), while others accept that the art may be created utilizing a stirring stick (etching). 


I think someone may have misunderstood my intentions when I placed my order for my beverage. I want to drink, guzzle, sip, knock back, devour, or otherwise consume it in its entirety. I have zero interest in showing it off to my friends, family and/or neighbors. Oh and if I'm paying more than $4 for the brew, it better be yummy or I'm coming back for you and your little dog too!

During WWII our GIs ordered espresso with water so they could dilute the flavor. This became known as the Americano preparation. I refuse to type disparaging remarks about those who serve our country, so all I'm going to say is…Really?!? Fine. Okay. I gotcha. Wait, really?!?

With all that said, there are many ways to prepare java. My favorite preparation is the macchiato.

How do you like your joe? (Tall, dark and handsome is not an option.)