Heavy Heart

It was a rough work week, but not in the way most people will assume. There were multiple heart to heart conversations had between myself and other folks. Most ended well, but a few ended badly and I wish I knew how to meet those folks where they're at and fix it or convey what it is that needs to be done to make it right.

I made the statement many times this past week that the most difficult part of being a leader isn't the work, but the emotional impact you take. Everything can go right and the numbers turn out great, but when your folks aren't happy, when morale is down or you have to end the relationship between the company and an associate, it weighs on you, or at least it does me. It's like an anvil around my heart and I can feel the beat in my calves.

Interviews were conducted and finished this week, and while an offer has yet to be made, I'm already concerned about how those who were not chosen will react to the news. We had great candidates and trying to figure out who to choose was difficult. It could have been any one of half the folks interviewed and it would have still been a win for the team. I want to be able to convey that when we sit with folks, but will it come across? Will our feedback do them justice? Will they give up on us?

I have a heavy heart right now and as often as I try to give it up, I seem to have kept a string attached to my wrist so that I can pull it right back down to me.

I need the scissors.